• Skyscraper: To those with a few broken windows…

    A few years ago when I heard the song Sky Scraper (Demi Lovato) for the first time, I immediately saved it to a playlist of songs that make me feel powerful. This song isn’t an upbeat typical exercise song, but I’ve found that it’s very special. Whether you are in the midst of a difficult relapse, a flare, a deep depression, etc… it’s for you. The song opens with “Skies are crying, I am watching. Catching tear drops in my hands. Only silence has it’s endings, like we never had a chance. Do you have to make me feel like there’s nothing left of me?” In my darkest hours, my…

  • Message to my girls on my bad days

    Today is one of those days where I just don’t have it in me. What is “it” you ask? Motherhood. I cannot mom right now. Well, better phrased, I cannot live up to what I thought moms were supposed to be, right now. One of you gave the other a black eye this week… one of you is a lot better at dishing it out than taking it. I have emergency Lays chips in the cabinet… we’re currently trying to eat cleaner to reduce our frequent health issues, but we’re always just a meltdown away from handing you a Lays and eating Papa Murphy’s for dinner. Laundry… oh, laundry. Where…

  • Be all there

    This was taken on my walk through the Rose Gardens the other night. In my heart, I wasn’t just in a tucked away garden in the middle of Tulsa… I was as excited as if I were exploring the Redwood Forest, or walking through meadows in Yellow Stone, or on a hike through the Appalachians. Some of these places I have seen before, some I have not… I used say, “Someday when we can afford to go on adventures…” But I’m realizing how insignificant money truly is in the grand scheme of things. Money calls the shots so often… the only thing money cannot do is give me experiences. I…

  • Storms

    I am an avid storm watcher and aficionado. Perhaps it’s a twisted hobby I gleaned while watching hurricane after hurricane beat against our Sulphur, Louisiana childhood home, or maybe it’s just one of my quirks… the point is, I feel connection with storms. I found myself thinking about this this morning as a loud thunderstorm passed over Tulsa. I remember the warm thunderstorms of my childhood, the smell of rain through an open window. I remember making mud pies in our front yard (ruining the already slim chance of grass growing up there.) I remember “swimming” in the flooded streets. I remember singing loudly as we played in rain from…

  • It’s time to change the dialogue around chronic illness

    I see you. You’re struggling, you put on a brave face, you are as active as your body will let you be. You don’t say much about your condition on platforms like social media, because everyone knows just enough about medicine to be dangerous (or at the very least, naively condescending.) “Have you tried___” “My aunt has ____, and she is fine.” “I bet if you just ____” “I’ve heard some people just have to eat XYZ.” “I can’t imagine, I could never give up ____” “You should look into ____, that sounds scary.” “Buck up, don’t dwell on the negative.” “Do you even want to be well?” “Psychosomatic.” Sound…